The Seven Contradictions No One Tells You About Getting Older
The messy, contradictory, perfectly human experience of growing into who you're meant to be
They don’t tell you getting older feels like holding opposites in both hands.
And somehow that’s exactly right.
Age isn’t really about the number of trips around the sun you’ve taken. It’s about the weight of responsibility you decide to carry while you do it.
And if you’ve been feeling that weight shift lately? You’re not alone.
Getting older is fun and annoying.
Stressful and awesome.
Hard, sad, and deeply rewarding—sometimes all in the same day.
These aren’t contradictions you need to resolve. They’re contradictions you learn to hold. Because that tension? That’s what being human is all about.
These are the seven I’m holding right now:
Getting Older is…
1. Fun
You march to the beat of your own drum now. Explore places you haven’t been before. Take spontaneous trips to the gas station at 10pm. Eat at a fancy restaurant with someone you love just because. Go crazy at concerts with your friends. The liberty to create memories that will last a lifetime? That’s the fun part.
2. ANNOYING
You trade hours for stability, even when your heart pulls you elsewhere. You abide by society’s rules even when they clash with how you see the world. There’s this constant negotiation between who you are and who you have to be to survive in this system. Some days that gap feels small. Other days it feels like a canyon.
3. Stressful
You’re stacking a lifestyle you now have to maintain. Bills. Responsibilities. All the small elements required to be viewed as an “upstanding citizen.” Playing the game of American life is exhausting. And the consequences of failing? They could be dire. There’s no safety net anymore. Just you and your choices.
4. Awesome
People finally treat you like an adult! At some point—you’re not sure exactly when—your words started carrying weight. The ability to make an impact on the world? That’s intoxicating. Figuring out how to craft the life you want brings meaning. You get to build now. That’s a privilege younger you didn’t have.
5. Hard
The weight of potential failure sits heavy. Wrestling with the unknown of how to build the life you want—that keeps you up at night. There’s no instruction manual. Just trial and error. And every error has consequences that younger you never had to think about.
6. Sad
The people you once thought were immortal aren’t. Watching them get older, fade away—it’s heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. Time moves whether you’re ready or not. And you can’t pause the moments you wish would last forever.
7. Rewarding
Because you get to experience all of it. The mess. The contradictions. The weight and the freedom. Finding meaning in life is a search for something so treasured it makes everything worth it. You’re in that search now. Really in it. That’s the reward—the journey itself.
So What Do You Do With All This?
You hold it. All of it.
Contradiction isn’t something to resolve. It’s something to carry. And the sooner you stop trying to pick one side, the sooner you realize this is the answer.
Getting older means being stressed and free.
Sad and grateful.
Lost and building.
All at once.
That tension you feel? That’s not a problem to solve. That’s proof you’re paying attention.
The people who seem like they have it all figured out aren’t holding fewer contradictions. They’re just more comfortable holding them.
They’ve stopped waiting for life to make sense in a clean, linear way.
They’ve accepted that joy and grief can sit in the same room.
That you can feel like you’re failing and succeeding on the same Tuesday afternoon.
Maybe that’s not confusion.
Maybe that’s just being alive.
The contradictions don’t make it harder. They make it real.
And real is exactly what we’re here for.
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If i could add an 8th it would be “Not feeling your age but having to act it.”