Introduction
One of my favorite things to do on this platform is collaborate with other amazing writers.
Rolando Andrade is the founder of Outside the therapy room, where he writes fiction, poetry and essays on psychology and human behavior. Many of his pieces have moved me deeply.
I reached out to Rolando last week, asking if he’d be willing to do a guest post on Soul Mana so you all can experience his work. The following piece is what he graciously prepared.
I deeply encourage you to go over to his Substack to explore his work yourself. It’s not only beautiful writing, it’s wisdom through words that leaves a lasting impression.
Without further ado, here are the beautiful words Rolando wrote for us. I hope you enjoy.
The Other Side of Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy is fertile ground for the development of myths and prejudices. Throughout my career, I have been confronted with many of them, such as the one that revolves around the idea that psychotherapists simply listen in silence during sessions. I confess that I no longer pay much attention to this myth, because it reflects a profound ignorance of what psychotherapy is.
In this reflection, I want to focus my attention on another myth that has grown up around this idea:
In a psychotherapy session, do we only talk about problems?
To answer this question, it is important to note that, naturally, many people talk to me about their problems and anxieties. It is healthy for them to do so. It shows that they are committed to the process and open to change. Furthermore, psychotherapy is not about the pursuit of happiness, but rather about expanding consciousness and the mind and recognizing the patterns that allow us to live in balance and well-being.
That is why I try to get patients to talk to me about their joys and achievements, because psychotherapists do not just listen to what causes suffering. That would be reductive and simplistic, and in a way even unhealthy and boring, and would ultimately make the necessary emotional and behavioral changes impossible.
Just as with problems, it is equally important to listen to what patients feel fulfilled and competent about, because that is where they often reveal their ability to put into practice the behaviors that can promote health, well-being, and quality of life.
Regardless of their level of suffering, everyone who seeks psychotherapy has something that connects them to life, or they would not be seeking help. In a way, everyone wants to free themselves from what afflicts them, seek meaning, start or resume certain projects, or alleviate their suffering.
Depending on their objective, there are two types of patients in psychotherapy. Those who are looking for a kind of crutch, a little support, who just want to talk, and who quickly realize that talking and knowing that someone is listening is one of the most important and transformative things anyone can have access to...
Others want to get to know themselves, seek treatment for a pathology, or develop and grow as people.
Deep down, those who seek help are looking for what we all want: someone who will listen to us without judgment, prejudice, or accusations, where we can find the freedom to express ourselves genuinely, without defenses or disguises.
Sometimes these people’s lives are tragic in some way. That is why I do not commit to a psychotherapy process lightly. I am aware that each person’s anxieties and sufferings are always private property and can be their most precious asset, often kept secret, in intimate safes, safe and well-protected places, where often no one has ever had access.
When someone opens these safes to me, revealing what is stored inside, it is important to be prepared to welcome and take good care of their contents. That person places all their trust in me. I know that sometimes, in doing so, they feel fragile, afraid, insecure, unprotected, almost as if they were tiny and frightened like a newborn child revealed to the world.
Just as there are no people who are a kind of pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, those who seem to harbor all the magic of success and happiness, there are also no people who are like Pandora’s boxes, harboring all the evils of the world.
That is why the answer to the initial question in this text is clearly no. In psychotherapy, we do not only talk about problems, but neither should it be its goal to show the positive side of any story.
As in all therapeutic relationships, it is essential to be genuine when empathizing with individual suffering, because any kind of human suffering is always private property, personal and non-transferable, in the sense that it is subjective, and as such must be respected in the unique way it presents itself.
At the same time, it is essential to be attentive to what exists in each person that has the potential for transformation, creativity, and growth, since this is what allows each person to be an active agent of their own well-being.
That is why, for me, each psychotherapy session is a chapter in the wonderful odyssey of every human being.
Rolando Andrade, ©2025
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